By Amanda Singer
There are many reasons to use a divorce mediator San Diego. However, I wanted to share five of the main reasons that people use a divorce mediator and why mediation might be the right fit for you.
Litigation can be VERY expensive. It’s difficult to know how much the whole process will cost when you start. Everything that your attorney and your spouse’s attorney does is charged hourly (or fraction of an hour). This includes all emails, phone calls, drafting, court appearances, communication with co-counsel, research, and other work done on your behalf. How much your divorce will cost is dependent on what your attorney (and their support staff) charge hourly for their work. It may cost more depending on how challenging your spouse is and how long it takes you to agree. Even an “easy” litigated divorce can still cost each spouse $20,000+ when all is said is done. Complicated cases that go on for years can easily cost more than $100,000! This is especially true when other professionals such as forensic accountants, custody experts, and vocational evaluators come into the mix. Parties are throwing money away instead of dividing amongst themselves.
Meanwhile using a divorce mediator in San Diego allows you to save costs and even know upfront what the process will cost. While not all divorce mediators do this, we do mediation as a flat fee, so you and your spouse understand from the beginning what the process will cost. This allows you to have the peace of mind of knowing how much you’re going to spend and can better plan for the future.
Maintain control over your divorce
One of the main reasons that people come to mediation is to maintain control over the divorce process. You and your spouse decide how you want to do things instead of allowing a judge who doesn’t know you or your family making those decisions. Mediation is a voluntary process, and both parties must agree to attend mediation, and the parties maintain control over the whole process. That means you get to decide who you work with, how quickly the process moves and ultimately what your agreements are. While your mediator is there to guide and facilitate the conversation, it isn’t their job is not to tell you what to do. Although they may assist in providing options or creative solutions. Ultimately the only people who can make that decision are the parties, and that’s important to the mediation process.
Keep everything confidential and out of court
A lot of people don’t realize this, but anything that you file with the court in a divorce case is a public record. Anyone can go down to the courthouse and pull your file and see what’s in there. That means that whatever you file, including your financial information, will be public. When you use a divorce mediator in San Diego as much of your information as possible remains confidential, and we only file what is necessary with the court. That means that while the parties will exchange their financial disclosures, we don’t file them. We can even file confidential settlement agreements if that’s what the parties would like. Additionally, by going through mediation, you won’t have to step foot in court. Our divorce mediators take care of the whole process for you, including filing all of the paperwork.
Work with someone who understands the local and state laws
Using a divorce mediator in San Diego means that your mediator should know and understand the local and state requirements associated with divorce for California. Divorce laws are all set at the state level, so what a court in California might order is very different from what a court in say Massachusetts may order. Many mediators offer virtual mediation all over the country. We believe that it’s essential to work with a divorce mediator that is based in the city or state where you are located. Using a divorce mediator, San Diego means that your mediator understands what the court might do. They can assist you in better understanding your alternatives if mediation doesn’t work out. Additionally, working with a mediator in the same city allows your mediator to make sure that everything is done correctly and, in a way, that the courts will accept it.
Not hate each other at the end of the process
Mediation is a process of working together. It is also a process of compromise. Parties are working towards a mutually beneficial agreement that works for each of them and their children. When you work together in mediation, you’re more likely to work together better going forward and not hate the other person at the end of the process. Litigation is an adversarial process where it automatically pits the parties against each other and puts you in a position to fight with the other person. When this happens, people often say and use things against their spouse that aren’t pleasant. It makes it very easy to hate the other person and hard to want to work with them moving forward. In mediation, we remember that no matter why you guys are getting divorced, you were married and had a relationship and potentially children together. Especially when children are involved, it’s crucial to be able to work together because you’re going to be co-parenting with that person for the rest of your lives. If you hate the other person, it affects the children and how they see their parent’s relationship. It also can negatively impact your daily life to be dealing with constant stress. Working with a divorce mediator in San Diego helps you both be able to solve conflict together amicably in the future.
Contact San Diego Family Mediation Center today to schedule your free consultation with a divorce mediator San Diego. Call (858) 736-2411 for more information.