By Amanda Singer
Figuring out the best time for filing for divorce in San Diego can be very subjective as every situation and couple is different, and you ultimately have to file at the time that you are ready to and feels right to you. However, that can certainly be difficult to figure out, and there are some important things to consider when deciding on filing for divorce in San Diego.
First off, I would suggest thinking about whether you’ve done everything you want to do to work on your marriage and whether you feel ready to end the marriage. If you’re unsure, then I always recommend couples counseling to clients who may want to try working on the marriage. If your spouse isn’t willing to go to counseling, then often, even individual counseling can help you understand whether you’re ready to go forward with the divorce. Additionally, your spouse’s willingness or unwillingness to attend therapy may help you understand if it’s the right time; are you both willing to continue to work on this marriage, or is it one-sided at this point. If counseling isn’t the right fit, marital mediation can also be an option to understand your marriage issues and see how you can problem-solve solutions to change things and stay together. No matter what, make sure you’re ready to file for divorce and move through the process is very important.
Second, you’ll want to consider what your date of separation would be and how that might affect the length of the marriage and things from the division of assets and debts to the amount and length of spousal support. The petition will ask you to include the date of separation when you file. Your date of separation does not have to be a physical separation, but it would be what was or is the unequivocal end of the marriage; when did you definitely decide you guys were getting a divorce. Now that can be one-sided in the sense that both parties don’t have to agree on the divorce necessarily, but it has to be clear to the other spouse that they wanted the divorce, and that is the end. For some people, that date can be months or even years before they come into mediation or file for divorce, but for most couples, it’s usually within the last few weeks or months. Your date of marriage to your date of separation determines the length of the marriage. Anything during that time period would be considered community property unless it was a gift, inheritance, or you had a prenup to the contrary.
Last, you’ll want to think about if you’re really ready to start the divorce process. You may have decided that you’re definitely ready for a divorce, and you know that you’re no longer working on your marriage, but you also need to consider if it is the best time for you to be filing for divorce in San Diego. Things like the time of year related to other things going on in your life, such as the start of school for your children or other major life events, can affect when the best time for you is. Working with a therapist or divorce coach can help you better prepare for your divorce and decide if this is the best time for you. You have to remember that your friends and family will undoubtedly have opinions on what you should do during your divorce, and that will only start with when you should file. While support can be invaluable during a divorce, it’s just as important to take what everyone who is not a divorce professional with a grain of salt and make the decisions that you feel are best for you. Having a therapist or divorce coach helps you figure out what those can help you through the process.
It can often feel like there is never a “good time” to be filing for divorce in San Diego, but if you know that you’re going to move forward with the divorce, often filing can help you start the grieving process and start to move on with your new life. If you’re not the person filing for divorce, then it can feel as though you have no control over this. However, in mediation, we can work with both of you to decide when you should file for divorce.
Ready to start? Call San Diego Family Mediation Center at (858) 736-2411 to schedule your FREE consultation.