How to Forgive

By Todd Singer

One of the hardest things to practice in life, whether it is during a family mediation or not, is forgiveness. As we enter into the holiday season and the end of another year, it can leave us better prepared for a new year to consider where we can better apply forgiveness in our lives. By working to forgive others, and ourselves, we can aim to embark on a new year with positive intentionality. Forgiveness can be tough, scary, and filled with risk but it can also leave us in a better place mentally for the next steps in life.

Research has helped show what a lot of us may already know intrinsically, that forgiveness can bring benefits like less anxiety and depression and increased mental and physical health. To forgive does not need to mean the same thing as to condone. We can forgive without excusing or accepting the unacceptable.

Sometimes the hardest person to forgive isn’t a spouse or a friend but ourselves. It is not uncommon to normalize being tough on ourselves and for it to go from motivational to detrimental often without us realizing it. I was recently introduced to a self-forgiveness mediation that I found useful and I hope others will too!

Sit in front of a mirror. Hands over your heart. Focus on your heart. Look into the mirror and say the statements:

 

I am loveable and life loves me.

I forgive myself for all the times I’ve been afraid that I’m not loveable.

I am loveable and life loves me.

I forgive myself for judging myself and for not believing in my goodness.

I am loveable and life loves me.

I forgive myself for feeling unworthy and for believing I don’t deserve love.

I am loveable and life loves me.

I forgive myself for all the times I’ve criticized and attacked myself.

I am loveable and life loves me.

I forgive myself for rejecting and giving up on myself.

I am loveable and life loves me.

I forgive myself for doubting myself and for not trusting in me.

I am loveable and life loves me.

I forgive myself for my mistakes.

I am loveable and life loves me.

I ask for forgiveness, so I can learn.

I accept forgiveness, so I can grow.

I am loveable and life loves me.

 

By Louis Hay www.hayhouse.com

Interested in mediation? Contact West Coast Family Mediation at (858) 736-2411 today to schedule a free virtual consultation.

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