If you are a perfectionist, type-A personality type, it can be so difficult to call it quits. You want to do everything in your power to prevent your marriage from coming to an end. You spend hours researching therapy and communication techniques. You dig deep-down introspectively to try and find out what you can control on your end to help save your marriage. It is hard to swallow that it isn’t only you, the other person has to be giving 100% effort as well. It takes two to tango, and two to stay married.
Stop Trying So Hard
It is commendable to try and save a marriage. Sometimes the effort is worth it. However, if you have one spouse who has completely checked out, the odds of things being in a space where you are happy and satisfied are little to none. Why keep pouring energy into a marriage that will never give you what you want? While marriage is tough, it shouldn’t be back-breaking labor. It may be your desperation that is the very thing that is driving your spouse away. They may need some space. It may be the perfect time to take a step back.
There Has Been a Breach of Trust
One of the most catastrophic things that can happen in a marriage is a breach of trust. Most commonly, this is expressed in infidelity. While some couples can work through this shake to the foundation of their marriage, many cannot. If you find yourself continually stewing in resentment over your spouse’s infidelity, it may be more damaging to stay than to leave for your mental health.
You Are Only There for The Kids
Don’t just stay together for the kid’s sake. It never ends well. You end up exposing your child to a toxic environment of conflict. Children are a lot smarter than parents often give them credit for. They can feel the tension in the room, just as you do. Co-parenting can bring a lot more peace to everyone’s lives.
If you are ready to move forward in a peaceful way together, contact West Coast Family Mediation Center to schedule a free consultation with one of our mediators.