One of the recurring themes that we see with clients is that they feel completely out of control during a divorce. This applies in particular to clients who weren’t the initiator of the divorce process. It is easy to go on autopilot when dealing with any stressful situation, but for long-term happiness and contentment with the end result, your participation and effort is crucial. As mediators, we utilize communication tools to lead the conversations in our office, but we encourage our clients to take control and make their own decisions. Mediators are a catalyst to change and navigators to solutions. Here are a few ways in which you can take back control of your divorce.
Stay Focused on What’s Important
When you are discussing every aspect of your life, it is easy to get wrapped up in the details. Before you walk into the mediation office, take some time to do a self-assessment. What is the most important thing for you to accomplish? Our mediators will often prep you before your next meeting, letting you know what you can expect to discuss during the next session. Make a quick list of three things that are most important to you.
Do Your Homework
You may be asked to prepare and provide information for your next session. Make sure to complete the task well in advance of your meditation. In particular, financial information can be hard to locate at times. When you do your part, the entire process will be quicker, smoother, and less stressful.
Compartmentalize When You Can
The emotions you feel during a divorce are much like experiencing death. You need to make time to grieve your marriage. At the same time, you need to be able to put feelings aside to think logically and be productive. Schedule time for yourself to process the emotions of the divorce. When you don’t give yourself the opportunity to express yourself, it tends to come out at inopportune and unproductive times.
We hope these tips have been helpful. We encourage everyone to do their part and take control of their divorce. Mediation is unique in that it puts the solutions in the hands of the people involved, rather than the court system. If you would like help in taking control of your divorce, contact us at (858) 736-2411 today!