Hear from best-selling author, Katy Goshtasbi on Thriving Through Divorce to Stay Whole:
Divorce can mean so many things in your life. I remember when I got divorced and wondered who I would be post-divorce. I also considered how I would manage the changes that divorce brought to emerge from the process whole and not broken.
To stay healthy through the divorce process and beyond, an ideal strategy is to find and embrace your “whole” self. Doing so allows you to feel empowered, confident, and clear on the next chapter of your life. It also allows you to get through mediation more easily and successfully.
The trouble is that we have forgotten what our whole selves entail anymore. Some would argue, we never really knew our whole selves to start.
Maintaining Wholeness Through Divorce
We are humans first and foremost. We are also spouses, daughters, sons, caretakers, soccer coaches, taxi drivers for our kids and the list goes on. Our best self has many places to hide, including behind our roles as “spouse” or “parent”.
Once we understand our whole selves, we can move through our days with confidence knowing that there is much more to us than just our roles. We give ourselves permission to shine our full light brightly into our communities and families and careers because we see the full value of what it means to bring our whole self to our world every day.
Our whole self is comprised of our physical body, energetic body, and mental body.
When our physical bodies are poor representatives of the potential that we have inside of us, we struggle to feel confident and produce results easily and gracefully. Your physical body responds and behaves based on what kind of nourishment you take into it. Consuming foods that energize your physical body is key, as is exercise and feeling positive emotions about the way your visual self shows up to represent the real you inside.
Channeling a Positive Mindset
Your energetic body is tied directly to how much positive energy you have. A simple method for checking your energetic body throughout the day is to gauge what type of words you are using. If your words and thoughts are positive, then your energy will be positive. Your energetic body is incredibly important because people do not choose to engage with us or hire us, or even notice us, unless we energetically move them somehow closer to happiness. Said another way, no one buys your intellect at first. They only initially “buy” your ability to elevate their mood somehow. If you do not elevate their mood, they will move on to engage (and hire) someone else. This applies to work, dating life and familial relationships.
Your mental body is all about how you think and process your emotions. Emotions attach to thoughts. As such, staying self-aware of your thoughts will allow you to monitor what kinds of emotions (fear, anger, sadness, joy) you are allowing to attach to your thoughts. How well you can navigate this process is reliant on what kinds of beliefs and ideas you hold. These beliefs and ideas start in our childhood and oftentimes form the basis for our personality.
Anytime one of these bodies is more prominent than others in your life, then you are likely out of balance and not bringing your whole self to your life and practice. It’s as if you are forgetting about a part of yourself, leaving you feeling a sense of lack. You may not even consciously know this is happening. The results often show up as feeling out of control, mismanaging time and deadlines, confusion, anger and/or frustration at others, to name a few.
Achieving Your Highest Self
Learning to keep your physical, energetic, and mental bodies in harmony will allow you to bring your whole self to your personal life and career/business. Thus, you can serve your community and family in a positive way that increases efficiency, effectiveness, and wellness.
If you are ready to unearth and activate your whole self in order to make better decisions, be happier, healthier and thrive after divorce, join me for an impactful session that will change your life for the better. There will be time for questions including how to deal with difficult and negative people at work and home.
Katy Goshtasbi is a branding expert and coaches, consults and speaks on divorce, welcoming change, diversity and growth. Katy practiced securities law for over 14 years, and is a past chair of the ABA Law Practice Division. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org.