As a continuation of last week’s article “Adult Children of Divorce: It Still Hurts“, where I talked about tips for parents who are going through a divorce when their children are adults, this time I’m sharing some insight on being an adult child of divorce.
Don’t Feel Like You Need To “Choose” Sides
When you’re an adult, and your parents are going through a divorce it can be tempting to feel like you need to “choose” a side. If your parents have shared anything with you about what’s going on. Know that it’s ok to tell your parents you love them both and don’t want to hear about their divorce and that you don’t need to choose sides. They are both your parents, and you shouldn’t have to decide.
Just Because They’re Getting Divorced Doesn’t Mean Their Whole Marriage Wasn’t Good
When I hear from adult children of divorce, one of the common sentiments is they wonder if their parents only stayed together because they were kids and once they’ve left they no longer “need” to. While this is not always true, they often question whether their whole relationship was a sham. Remember that no matter what has happened now, doesn’t mean that their entire marriage wasn’t good, there are many reasons that people get divorced.
Don’t Be Afraid to Reach out for Help
Sometimes as adults, we have a hard time reaching out when we need help. Especially if our parents are going through a tough time, we may try and be the adult in the situation and not think about our feelings and experience. However, it’s important not to be afraid to reach out and ask for help. Feel comfortable talking with your friends or even seeking out professional help if you need. It’s ok not to have all of the answers and reach out for help when you need it.
Contact West Coast Family Mediation Center to start the healing process and rebuilding family bonds for a brighter future.
by: Amanda Singer