On a daily basis, often on a subconscious level, we all make choices defined by emotional and physical boundaries. We go about our day, operating from an internal and external home base. This base consists of the details that uniquely define your home, with your family. This base can either support us or burden us. Take a moment and ask yourself, how would you define yours? If the scales are predominantly on the support side, congratulations to you for successfully balancing the demands and delights of your daily life. However, if you find yourself struggling with a home situation that is detracting from your ability to function, it might be time to take a step back and re-evaluate your relationship.
All successful relationships require the fine art of compromise. Strong couples are those that work together to set overall priorities. On a daily, practical basis however the path of any couple or family often requires one person accommodating the other on some issues, and vice versa. This give and take is crucial to any healthy, functional relationship or family.
People are adaptable, it is always possible to adjust your priorities, or expand your personal boundaries, albeit within reason. No doubt, there will be times when boundaries will be thrown into question. For instance, it could be an ethical question at work on just how honest to be with a customer about a late delivery on a contract. At home, it could be a stressful decision based on an unexpected downturn in family finances, such as how to tell your daughter that you can no longer afford her club soccer payments. Some might seem simple and others, quite difficult. But I think most of us can acknowledge just how uncomfortable it is when the relationship has turned towards the darker side and also recognize when stress levels have risen to the point of no return.
When boundaries are breached too often, it will most likely have a significant impact on your health. Consider your day to day family life, is it predominantly positive or negative? At the end of the day, how do you feel? Exhausted and dreading a night of tossing and turning as you mull over the days’ events or are you looking forward to a good night’s sleep so that you can tackle tomorrow’s schedule?
If you feel like you’re spinning out of control, or it seems like your boundaries have disappeared over the horizon, we encourage you to reach out to us today. We here at San Diego Family Mediation Center are here to listen to your problems and identify a framework of solutions. Our years of experience guiding troubled individuals and couples through a proven mediation process has given many people a newly defined direction and balance back into their lives. Harmony is waiting there on the horizon, we can see it, can you?