Does this sound like you? You and your partner or spouse have been arguing for months, and yet the arguments never seem to lead anywhere…except down Heartbreak Road. When you feel the anger rising again, you try to coach yourself. You vow that this time, you will be calm and express yourself clearly and somehow again the situation devolves into yelling, door slamming, and avoidance. You think, “If I could just get him or her to listen to me!”
Instead of coaching yourself and trying to address a complicated situation on your own, some people have turned to marital mediation. This is a method in which professionals trained in conflict resolution, teach partners to communicate in healthier ways. Mediation uses proven methods designed to reframe arguments in a manner that greatly reduce the emotional weight of the words. The primary focus of mediation is to teach couples to use no fault language to express their feelings.
Unlike marital counseling, marital mediation is a short term solution designed to create new patterns of communication between partners. Whereas counseling involves often years of analysis of deep seated personality issues, mediation involves coaching sessions in which partners are taught to use crucial communication tools to significantly improve their levels of communication and understanding.
Ultimately, I think we all want to feel mature enough to express our thoughts and desires in a healthy way. There is no worse feeling than shouting out words that you immediately wish you could take back. Naturally, all of this anger and stress takes a toll on your emotional and physical health as well. A few weeks ago, my friend had a fight with his wife and when he came to visit me later, I could still see the anger and tension in his face and body. He even said he didn’t feel well. Why do that to yourself when better options are available?
Imagine how great it could feel to let at least some of the tension go, as you successfully communicate with your partner. Think about how good it could feel to end the shouting matches, and how positive you could feel about yourselves as you work together to build a better marriage. For the first time in a long time, you could finally feel understood. This could be you, with the help of mediation.
If you’re even having thoughts of needing to save your marriage, don’t despair. We here at San Diego Family Mediation Center are trained experts in conflict resolution. We offer proven solutions designed to specifically address your situation, and we have helped save many couples over the years with our techniques. Why wait in dread for the next argument? I strongly encourage you to contact us today.