When you are in a rough patch in your marriage, of course, there are big fights, a lack of intimacy, or angry words thrown at each other. However, some things are doing more damage to your marriage than you think—the little things. The little things truly make or break a relationship. They may be small, but they hold such power and can do so much good, or so much damage, depending on how they are used. What am I talking about? Let’s run through a few scenarios.
Your spouse doesn’t offer to get you a drink when they get one.
While this seems like such an innocent ‘blip’ in their thinking, it speaks loudly. They aren’t thinking about you. They aren’t thinking about your needs or desires. Now, I’m not talking about this on a one-off occasion. However, if they never even ask what you would likeWhy Online Marital Mediation Is Crucial Right Now anymore, it is a huge indicator that they genuinely have no interest in your needs.
They don’t seem happy when they see you.
You come home from a long work day, and your spouse walks by, barely acknowledging your existence after hours of not seeing you. Or perhaps you have left for a trip and returned. Your spouse doesn’t even give you so much of a loving look, let alone a hug or kiss. This action alone indicates that something has gone awry in your marriage. Repeated experiences like this can start to turn spouses against each other.
They complain about you to others in front of you.
Problems in the marriage can only be fixed by the two people in the marriage, not counting a mediator or therapist. When your spouse begins to criticize or complain about you in front of your family or friends, it is embarrassing and immensely hurtful.
They give you the silent treatment.
Does your spouse want to sit down and talk it through when you have a conflict? The silent treatment can be a type of emotional abuse and manipulation. If they decide to give you instead the silent treatment, it is a non-verbal communicator that they are checked out. This can hurt a marriage in the long run if you never get the ability to solve conflict.
While countless little things could really hurt a marriage, take action if you notice any of the above. Addressing issues in your marriage can help prevent you from going down the road of divorce. Call West Coast Family Mediation Center at (858) 736-2411. We are happy to provide trusted referrals to therapists or discuss marital mediation options with you.