Did you know that the divorce rates for second and third marriages are much worse than first? In fact, ~56% of second marriages and ~75% of third marriages end in divorce. I had a conversation recently about why that could be the case, and it led to some extensive online research. The overwhelming consensus regarding higher divorce rates in subsequent marriages was about the difficulty in blending families.
Conflict Moves Between Homes
When you have children from a past relationship, you will always have the other parent in your life in some capacity. If the relationship with the other parent is contentious, then you likely will vent to your current spouse. While letting off some steam from time and time is completely normal, if it starts being a daily topic, it can damage your current marriage. No one wants to live in a home that is constantly full of conflict. If you are finding that it is difficult to communicate with the other parent, it may be helpful to come to mediation so that you can communicate more smoothly.
Your Current Spouse Hates Your Ex?
If your current spouse hates your ex, it can make any exchanges with your child tense. It may be that you have told your current spouse about all the bad qualities of your ex, leaving out the good parts. Maybe your ex has said some less-than-kind things to you or your current spouse, but that doesn’t mean you can’t work things out to make it amicable. We have many clients that are having difficulties communicating. This is often between current spouses and ex-spouses who feel unsure where their boundaries are in how to handle each other. This can be worked through quickly and efficiently with blended-family mediation.
The Answer: Blended Family Mediation
Many people believe that mediation is only something you pursue when you need to submit documents to the court. Mediation is a tool (like focused-therapy) to help people communicate more effectively. We offer blended-family mediation that can bring both sides together to serve their children’s best interests. Check out our recent podcast about blended family mediation and how it can be a life-saver for your second (or third) marriage:
Interested in blended family mediation? Contact our San Diego mediators at (858) 736-2411 today!