When you are in the midst of a divorce, it can feel like it consumes everything: your mind, your feelings, and your time. You may be with your family in a physical sense, but it can be easy to get lost in the stress, worry, and frustration that often come along with a divorce. Family time may be an emotionally triggering time, as you are still mourning the loss of your marriage and the way you thought things would be. There are ways to help mitigate these feelings and focus on your children during a divorce.
Make It a Routine
Kids thrive on consistency. Divorces inevitably cause a massive disruption and shift in their regular schedule. When it comes to time with your kids, create your own unique routine and stick to it. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. Maybe every Friday you cook dinner together, or Saturday morning you sit together and watch cartoons. For younger children, creating a large schedule that you place on the wall can help them keep track of your time and activities you have planned.
Keep Communication Open
While your spouse may not be around at the same time as your children, they may talk about them or want to express their feelings about the divorce. Try to keep communication as open as possible. If you can, allow your child to talk to the other parent as much as they want as long as it is reasonable. This will make your children feel secure that both their parents will be there for them, despite the divorce.
Work Together When You Can
While we understand that sometimes after a divorce, it can be hard to spend any time with your ex. However, it can be helpful for your kids if you can get along during holidays or school events. Being able to put aside your differences will not only help you both be a part of these important memories but also shows your kids the importance of conflict resolution and teamwork.
For more information on how to manage family time during a divorce, contact our mediators for a consultation at at West Coast Family Mediation Center.
by: Amanda Singer